I've blown a few things in my day
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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