Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Still dying that you shit outside
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
