Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
