He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
