My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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