Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he laminated a picture of his dick.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
