omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
