Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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