Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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