I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
