Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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