Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
