we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
