I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
