I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
