im about as happy as oj after his trial
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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