im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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