it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Randomize
