she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
