11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
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On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
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And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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