This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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