You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
