Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
