singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
