i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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