She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
so much tequila, so little girl.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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