Whod you bang
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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