Me. At least after what I've been through.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I supernannyed him into submission
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
