Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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