...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
