Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
