Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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