Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
