I'm so fucking centered right now
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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