sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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