shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
