why didn't you poke me back
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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