he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.