I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
