let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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