I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
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just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
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I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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