My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
