i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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