Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
