I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
