we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
