you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
