I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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