In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
