It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
