i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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