TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
