i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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