dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
