Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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