I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
