So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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