I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
