I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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