he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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