is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
handjob tips. give me some.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
