His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We talked him into tasing himself.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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