a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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