I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
