I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
