Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The air was thick with penises
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Randomize