the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
