Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
