I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
