Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
