I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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